How to Get The Best Revenge

December 7, 2011 by  
Filed under Mind, Personal N*Powerment

Some of you have inquired offline about the recent spate of negative comments being left here on the site. They are the result of problems with two individuals (who will remain as nameless as they are senseless). I have since deleted & archived those comments and disabled publishing comments because I realize that it doesn’t even make sense reading or responding to them as it is futile to attempt to respond rationally to irrationality.

Unbeknownst to me, these individuals have been harboring ill feelings towards me for reasons only they are aware of for quite some time. I have never had any negative altercations with them nor have I ever exchanged any hostile words with them or about them. In fact, I didn’t have any issues at all with them until last Sunday night when they began to literally “curse me out” through the walls of my home. I was shocked that their diatribe was totally directed at me. I will not repeat the things they were saying here now, but what I will say was that their comments that night as well as those that they later emailed to me and posted here on the blog were of a very personal nature and intended to push my buttons and hurt my feelings. Of course, being human, I experienced the gamut of possible reactions–from outright shock, surprise and confusion to anger and amusement. I could not understand where all their hostility came from when, as I mentioned, I have never interacted with them in any manner warranting this type of personal attack and I wondered what the heck I ever did to them. However, when they escalated their assault by leaving inflammatory voice mail messages on my work phone, speaking with my principal in the attempt to sully my unmarred reputation, and posting numerous silly remarks here to the blog, I realized that their problem actually has nothing to do with me. And that is what I want to share with you today.

Sometimes when you are busy “doing you” and simply living your life, there are people out there who can’t stand you simply because you are doing just that. They hate the fact that you are doing what you want to do, the way you want to do it, when you want to do it and however you want to do it. They hate that you have a choice. They see what you have and instead of being inspired or motivated to strive for the same thing for themselves, they prefer to sit back and grudge you for what you have. They hate that you have a goal in life and they don’t. They hate that you look good and they don’t. They hate that you “are” good and you don’t need their approval to believe it. They hate that they can’t be more like you. These folks are known as “haters.” They simply hate you because you exist and because you do, you are a constant reminder to them of all that they are not. If given the chance, they will attempt to bring you down to their level just so they can feel better about themselves. These people feel badly about who they are; however, that is not your problem. It’s their problem.

As someone who has always worked or volunteered in a service capacity, to help, educate or uplift others, I have never had anyone accost or blatantly “hating on” me the way these individuals have and so I’ve never really had to learn this lesson myself, until now. But now that I have, I want to implore anyone else who is experiencing anything similar to this to not allow it to weaken your resolve to live the life you were destined to live or the life that you choose to live. Whether you prefer to own your home over renting from others, prefer to have two (very cute) dogs over two kids, or a “boyfriend” who you can proudly say is hard-working, drug-free and has never been incarcerated over a “husband” who is unemployed, on drugs or in and out of jail–These are your choices and you are free to make them when you are an independent, self-sufficient woman. So, continue to do your thing and to do it well. Live your life and don’t let anyone else’s insecurities, delusional thinking, jealousies, misdirected negativity, or low self-esteem influence or diminish your capacity to be remarkable. Not everyone is going to love you even if they don’t even know you, but it’s ok, because the people who do, know why and according to 3LW, “Haters are gonna hate” so you might as well just go on doing your thing and giving them something to hate on! One of my dear friends always says, “Living well is the best revenge” and it has taken this experience to open my eyes to the truth of that statement. So, on that note, have a great week. Go out there and “Be Remarkable” and, as my friend says in Jamaican patois, “mek it bun dem!”