B2B–Day 3–Change Your Mind

August 26, 2011 by  
Filed under Mind, Personal N*Powerment

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Today, we are going to revisit a concept that I write about often because I truly understand how much it impacts everything you do (or don’t do) and that’s the power of beliefs.

Don’t feel like reading? That’s ok. Click here to listen:[audio:http://be-remarkable.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Day-3-Change-Your-Mind.mp3|titles=Day 3–Change Your Mind]

Last week I posted this quote by Joe Vitale on twitter, “You are the architect of your own life; the Michelangelo of your experience. The David that you are sculpting is you and you do so with your thoughts.”

Many people don’t give thoughts a second thought (pun intended).  After all, they’re just thoughts, right? They are thoughts, but thoughts shape our beliefs and our beliefs are manifested in our actions, so thoughts deserve a lot more attention.

Beliefs have the power to hold you back from doing what will make you happy and successful. Your thoughts create the foundation for everything you believe you deserve and therefore, what you ultimately get. For example, let’s imagine that you have a belief that you don’t deserve to be happy and successful.  Such a belief would cause you to subconsciously sabotage any plans you make or it could cause you to not try at all because you believe it would be a waste of your time and energy.

But that’s not the only way beliefs can hold you back.  Imagine that you have a belief that nothing will come easy to you in life, and you will have to work extremely hard to make even a tiny bit of progress.  Perhaps a parental figure passed this real life “lesson” on to you, and you simply believe it without question.  What might this type of belief do?

First, you may find yourself resisting any opportunities that seem “too good to be true” simply because you don’t believe that good things will happen to you “just like that”.  You might also feel inclined to refuse any offers of help that come to you from other people, even if you really want help.  You might even go so far as to subconsciously CREATE obstacles and difficulties along the way, just to “prove” to yourself that your beliefs are true. This is called self-sabotage: unconsciously destroying your own efforts at being successful.

This may sound far-fetched, but the mind works in mysteriously powerful ways!  It’s amazing how easily we can trick ourselves into believing something, and how fiercely we will defend our beliefs when they are challenged – even by ourselves.

How do you know if you have subconscious beliefs that might be holding you back?

One simple way to find out is to grab a sheet of paper and a pen, and start writing statements like these:

“I deserve to be successful and happy.”

“Success comes easily to me.”

“I find it easy to make friends and attract positive people to me.”

“I encounter opportunities wherever I go.”

“I am completely in tune with my passions.”

“I am clear about what I want in life.”

“I am ready to tackle any challenges that I may face.”

“I believe in my ability to create the success I desire.”

Then take a look at what you wrote and as you read each statement, pay attention to how you feel inside.  If any statement conflicts with one of your existing beliefs, you will feel a twinge of guilt or fear inside, as if you are lying.  It may be subtle, but if you pay close enough attention you will feel it.

Make a checkmark next to any statement that doesn’t feel true to you.  THOSE are the beliefs you need to work on changing if you want to make any progress.

How do you change existing beliefs?  You replace them with more empowering beliefs.

Let’s use this statement as an example:  “I am ready to tackle any challenges that I may face.”

If, when you read that statement to yourself you feel uneasiness, then you know you have a doubt about your ability to handle challenges.  Your job is now to convince yourself that you DO have the ability to handle challenges.

Think back to any challenges you have faced in your lifetime.  How did you handle them?  Did you buckle down and do what needed to be done, or did you cave under the pressure?  If you can recall even one challenge that you were able to handle and overcome, you have solid footing to change your belief!

You simply need to keep convincing yourself that if you handled one challenge successfully, you can handle others.  The more frequently and passionately you can reinforce this concept in your mind, the more quickly your underlying belief will change.

But what if you can’t recall any challenges you’ve overcome successfully in the past?  Is it time to give up?  Not yet!  Instead, think about opportunities to tackle a challenge now.  Pick one simple thing that would be challenging for you, and do it!  That may sound intimidating, but you may surprise yourself.  Most often, we are capable of MUCH MORE than we give ourselves credit for and you won’t know until you try.

After you conquer even one small challenge, you will feel your confidence growing and you’ll be eager to take on more.

Remember that changing your beliefs is a process but if you keep at it, it won’t be long before you start to notice a big change in your attitude.  And like so many other things in life, the more you practice the technique, the better you’ll get at it.

Today’s Task:

Today, write down one positive statement that you will repeat to yourself that will counter one negative belief that you now hold about yourself. Share your statement with us in the comment box below. It just might help to empower someone else.

In the mean time, if you’d like to hear more about changing the ways you talk to yourself about yourself read this blog post and listen to the podcast: Click here

Have a great weekend and see you on Monday for Day 4!

 

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Comments

5 Responses to “B2B–Day 3–Change Your Mind”
  1. Shirley says:

    My Life coach, Nicolette, is responsible for the transformation in my life.

    I can agree that I am the architect of my own life; the Michelangelo of my experience; and The woman that I are sculpting is me. I am doing so with my thoughts.”

    Nicolette recommended that I purchase a book for my Kindle called “Emotional Intelligence.” If any of you were to get this book along with the wonderful coaching of N*Powered Women, your life will be more fulfilling and complete. This is my testimonial.

  2. Charlene says:

    “Emotional Intelligence” Thanks Shirley, I will keep that in mind for future reading.

    I often stand in my own way when it comes to working out or losing weight. I can’t even explain to myself why I sabotage myself let alone share it with a group. Had al summer off and still didn’t get the goal accomplished…I am good with my excuses though. SMDH! But it is something that I do realize I need to work on and out.

    I find it hard to make a change in my life unless I add it to a routine, and unfortunately once the routine is broken I go back to my confort zone which is not the most productive. Need to find my fire again…get some excitement back…dare devil activities…or something along that line. Mind is at work now. :)

    • Nicolette James says:

      Char,
      It is hard to make changes without making them a part of a routine and I think that is the first step–determining how to “routinize” the behavior that will get you the result you want. So what if you didn’t do it all summer, we’ve got today and every day after this to get started.

  3. Judy says:

    I have always believed in the concept that what we put out the universe becomes a reality in our lives but one negative thing that I actually got in the habit of voicing is that I am getting old and forgetful. Each time I say it, I remind myself that I should not think of myself as old and forgetful but it has become somewhat of a habit. I guess I am am unconsciously afraid that I would develop Alzhiemer’s like my mom.
    Today’s focus will get me back on track to make a conscious effort not to describe myself as being forgetful. I will go back to being proud of my excellent memory and make a conscious effort to remember those things and pieces of information that I need to be able to recall. Thank you Nicolette, for hitting the nail on the head once again.

    • Nicolette James says:

      Judy, this is an excellent point that I know we all get caught up in doing from time to time–reinforcing negative thoughts that we think aren’t a big deal. I think we do this to rationalize certain behaviors instead of taking responsibility for changing it. This is a great way to really bring home the point that “we do what we say” more so than we say what we do.